We Progressed in Our Poly Deliberations


The other day, Remus was joking about finding me someone (male) to fuck. I knew he was joking and quipped and joked in turn, but I got serious with him too. I remarked that I can’t really see him doing that. I remarked that he seems to feel very possessive of me when it comes to men. I said that I didn’t think he’d ever do that…”Would you?”

Very definitively, he said, “No.”

I smiled at him and said that I’m very content with that answer…and now I realize that I consider this a rule of my submission, but also a simple relationship agreement and one that I feel emotionally safe and content with.

A few minutes later, I asked him if he felt the same way about women. (He’s very aware that I desire a relationship with a woman. When I first expressed this, he was concerned that he’d be replaced emotionally if there was any additional partner…)

“Fuck no!”…with a big grin and a hug.

So I guess that settles the lingering questions I have about polyamory and what direction we’ll take if we pursue it.


Woodsy Updates

What a busy, busy week it’s been since I last posted here! My course work has been grueling, challenging and engrossing. I’ve completed a major paper in one course that’s required to graduate. Deadlines were killer for it. I needed a few more days to get an A. I’ll be surprised if I get a B. I’ll be happy to pass though with a C. Any less and I can’t graduate. Ah well. If I don’t do well, I’ll have to take it again.

Sexy time with Remus has been both thin and lush depending on the day. We had sexy, fun times on Friday and Saturday. We were up half the night having sex off and on. Thin the past few days because of school and the same for end of the week last week. We’ve had lot’s of time together regardless of how we spent it and Remus says that makes him really happy.

It makes me happy too and we’ve been joking lot’s about how mushy we’ve got with each other. That’s not the norm for him, but it feels natural with me. I’m happy about that. I can’t imagine not having a very affectionate relationship.

Some things we learned lately:

We really love double teaming a woman for kinky play. We’re still platonic with others. We’ve not found a play partner we want to invite into our lives for ongoing play, platonic or otherwise…but we’re more sure we’d like to share that together. That’s nice. We had a very good time with a friend this weekend playing that way. It was funny and sweet.

Remus is amused to learn that I feel territorial about some things we do together for play. It is not a jealousy thing…it is more wanting to be special and unique from others, It is about honoring the inside of Us. There are some things that infer a sense of belonging and intimacy to me and that leads me to feel exclusive about a few things. For instance, I have no problem at all with him sharing knife play with someone. It’s his favorite. It’s what he loves about playing, but I’d prefer to be the only person he writes on with his knife…and if that seems something he really wants to share with someone, I’d prefer he not write his names on his playmate. I like that he only writes his names on me.

Remus had a hard time relating to me about it until I reminded him that he might feel possessive if someone he’d agreed I could play with decided to put a leash and collar on me for instance. Then he got me on that. It made me giggle to see the fire in his eyes about it.

It was some good talking on this polyamory topic. I enjoy those kinds of discussions with him. We learn about each other.

We also realized that we share no promises between us. All agreements are open to negotiation. We have created some rituals and traditions between us. We’ve got ways we do things. We’ve made agreements we like. Mostly though, there’s no obligations to each other with few exceptions that have to do with bill paying together. It’s his house I’m renting rooms in, so I owe for those expenses….but that’s it.

We realized there’s such peacefulness and ease between us. It’s freeing. It’s relaxing. He remarked that he feels safe because he trusts me so much, that no promises are needed from me to help him feel assured of my honesty or intentions or my reliability.

I feel the same way about him after my last marriage with an unreliable man who broke promises regularly.

It’s the first time I’ve had a relationship like this in many respects. Not only do we get on so well, but we spend lot’s of time laughing.

I mentioned we were going kinky camping with friends last weekend?

Some of the high points of last weekend for me, was laying in a tent listening to crickets and tree frogs and moaning from happy sex. I loved that these sounds were punctuated by the occasional happy screech too. I loved giving Remus a massage. He got a happy ending that included working his cock with my hands and then climbing on the table with him to ride him. When I first met him, he was uncomfortable with just laying back and being pleasured. He’s very good at it now. I loved watching him relax and enjoy.

I loved tickling my friend we topped together. I loved watching her screeching and using her safe words over being tickled. It was very funny and really fun. The dynamic between Remus and I was lovely as we played too. It created a wonderful sensuality between us. I enjoyed watching everyone eating and laughing together. I loved seeing the moon come out of the clouds and seeing those clouds back lit with silvery light when I got up to pee. I enjoyed sitting in my screen tent talking to friends.

We came to some agreements about playing. We don’t swap body fluids at present, not even saliva. We can play with body parts with fingers though. Slow but sure we’re figuring out how we like to play with others.

I especially loved watching a couple who are friends top another mutual friend. She happens to really love humiliation play. She was being topped by a couple we know and love. The male partner of that couple has a wicked sense of humor. He had our young single friend dressed up with a hair brush hanging on a string and she wasn’t allowed to be anywhere without her walkie-talkie which he had the mate to. Every so often we’d hear him playing with that WT, “Festering Pile Of Monkey Poo, what the hell are you doing?!” He’d grill her a bit. If she was supposed to come right back, he’d give her crap for taking too long. If she was supposed to be gone awhile, he’d give her shit about something else awhile and then cut her off. It was her leash and any time anyone wasn’t happy with her, she’d get a whack with the brush. It was a riot and she was having such a good time. I loved watching them playing. We had the best fun picking on her. Kinky play is a really good way to get your aggressions out in a good-humored manner.

It was also nice to see that yet again, the tension between ‘Remus and his wife and I had dialed down a bit more. My hope is that they can return to a friendship at some point or at least a friendly civility. It would be a shame if they remained so estranged given they have love for mutual children and grandchildren. Each time it gets better, I feel more hopeful of that. One thing we did in hopes of helping that along was create our own play space instead of being up in the main tent with everyone else all the time. We thought it would be easier for her. Hopefully that helped.

Remus and I have vacation together the next few weeks.We’ve got plans to go see my son. We’ve also got plans to have lot’s of friends and family over to help with some projects in the house. We’re still trying to get it ready for sale. We’ve been stalled by his wife not moving her stuff out, by budgets and by just time. Many of the projects take more than one set of hands. We’ve got the time over the next few weeks and we’ll see what we can do to take care of the significant structural things which will reduce the sale price. It will be satisfying to check things off the list we’ve got of needed projects. On my list is some painting, some cleaning, some packing and storing away of things his wife hasn’t gone to get yet…It will be satisfying to see these projects done, so that the inside of the house is presentable to potential buyers.

After this week, I’ll likely be away from the internet. I may feel a real need to write for pleasure while I’m on vacay…but I suspect not. It’s been a grueling summer in terms of having to sit in front of this pc far too much. I have developed seat spread on my ass I’ve spent so much time here.  Since,I’ll be taking a course in website design this fall semester, I”ll likely have too much time sitting here again, so a break is really important.

Life is good. Almost time to relax…Physical work will be such a nice change of pace. I’ll love a few weeks not having to think about much of anything at all.

By the way, the image above is of fire cupping, a specialty of Remus’s. It is very therapeutic. It’s a Chinese medicine and acupuncture treatment for knotted muscles. It leaves some large round hickeys on your body, but it really relieves muscle tension!