As It Happens

danceMy test results were nil. No abnormalities to be found. Thus I’m going to get a diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. *sighs…* I feel better that I was heard at least. And I feel better that doctors noticed and documented that this kind of thing just ain’t right and that its real. It is good to have such episodes as these documented.

I am less tired. And almost finished with this latest round of antibiotics.

I have other nice news. I’ve got a short list of between break reading that I didn’t get to during my semester. That’s enjoyable. I am nearly finished with my packet. I have one more day of editing before handing it in tomorrow. I learned a great deal. Far more than I thought I had. That is really rewarding considering how much I struggled to get my work done this semester.

Life with Remus is such a blessing. It is a bright light in my life. Before bed last night, we were laughing about a silly picture making the rounds on Facebook. This morning he made love to me. I love it when he wakes ardent for me.

There is something extraordinary about loving. It is not about Remus, though he is so special to me. It is about the experience of love. I makes life hold all possible meaning and joy. Even in the loss of love, loving gives life meaning.

I am happy.


Not Enough is still Sweet

tumblr_l2itbnWoyn1qa9ofpo1_400I got up today and wandered into the bathroom. I sat bleary-eyed, staring vaguely straight ahead while my bladder emptied. Slowly I came awake and realized my eyes were roaming the shape of Remus’s naked body. He was leaning against the sink to hover closer to the mirror while he shaved. His broad shoulders and narrow hips looked so good. I wiped and rose to step to the counter where I keep a jug of water and a glass. I drank some water, watching him in the mirror, rubbing the electric razor over his face. He made funny faces and looked sleepy, but he was watching me a little too. I put down the glass and stepped behind him, pressing my face to his spine and brushing my fingertips across his skin. I took a deep breath breathing the scent of his skin into my soul, and enjoyed the textures of his skin. It was so sweet. I stood there a few minutes and felt him shiver and make little happy sounds as my fingers brushed all over him. I stood there until sleepiness reclaimed me and I had to go back to bed.

I wanted to keep going, to draw him back to bed to ravish each other. So often of late, this is as far as we get. I’m lonesome for him…