People often ask me how does a person feel dominated and the opposite, how does one infer a sense of dominance on another on an ongoing basis. My answer is that the couple builds a bond over time, that contains many instances where dominance and obedience/surrender was exchanged. And when the exchange is internalized, even small gestures continue to affirm it.
I took Remus out to dinner last night. Nothing fancy. I am a student. I usually can’t afford fancy. After we ordered, Remus thanked me for his dinner. I smiled up with him and remarked that I enjoyed pleasing him. He smiled at me and reached up to thread his fingers in my hair. He gave it a squeeze, putting tension on the roots of my hair, which is both painful and pleasurable to me. It is something which Remus does when he asserts his dominance over me. It is something he knows I find arousing and he knows this gesture melts moments of playful defiance for me emotionally. In moments like this, I feel he’s wordlessly saying he loves me and loves my desire to please him. He’s saying he loves my generosity and that he appreciates that I don’t take him for granted. He is saying you’re mine and he’s so happy about that.
The exchange took all of three seconds, yet my heart still sings about that moment and I smile just thinking about him. #MakesMeJuicy