Life with Remus has been very juicy of late. We’ve had a very peaceful month. Lot’s of time with friends, punctuated with quiet time in contemplation (we like to meditate together) and just have pajama days. We had a pajama day yesterday. We had breakfast in bed, had naps, and we lounged together on the couch otherwise, watching movies and such. We didn’t even get out of bed until noon’ish. I love days like that. I love the times when we accompany our friends to movies or to play kinky. I love our deep intimate times when we just appreciate each other and laugh together over silly things. I love when we are rutting too.
Individually, the peak moments of the past few weeks were doing well enough on my math test to get that course out-of-the-way so I can move on to courses it was prerequisite to. Getting the last of my homework turned in today. Seeing my cat get a gray whisker. Hearing Remus come home to tell me with a smile of deep satisfaction that he was thinking as was putting his coat on to come home for lunch that he’d thought to himself that he was going home to his “dream girl.” He’s got a new nick name for me now…It puts a deep smile in my heart when he says it too…and the feeling is very mutual. He is such a kind, restful, happy person. I truly love being with him. It makes my heart glad.
We tried cell popping recently. If you don’t know what that is, you’ll want to know it’s a way to put a temporary brand on the skin. It’s deliberately burning the skin with a surgical instrument in this case, called a cauterizer. This instrument is battery operated and disposable. I learned that it has a sensation of a tens unit when it’s applied to the skin. I don’t particularly care for that. I’d like to learn about other methods to do it in future, so I can avoid that sensation. Also Remus decided that he’d put his name on my shoulder. He wanted it to last awhile, so my first experience was a deep enough burn that it will leave a mark on my shoulder for months. It will disappear in time of course, but the depth he did the brand with means it will last for a few months. I don’t mind that…but I think I’d like to do sensation play with another method in future. I love fire play and Remus has learned to leave the fire on my skin just a fraction longer so that I’ll get the heat and even small singes on my skin. I enjoy that sensation of stingy. If we learned to do it with other instruments that didn’t have that tens unit sensation with it, I’d love it for sensation play. It is certainly safer than leaving fire burning on my skin. I’m all for safer methods of playing with heat…but I will still love fire play. The danger involved in it, is part of it’s fun.
I like having Remus’s brand on my skin. I never thought I’d like that when I began to seriously explore BDSM lifestyle. It truly offended my feminism and I’d never have considered something that hurt as much as a branding does either…but I find that with the right person, it’s something I like…the same way I liked wearing my husband’s ring when I was married. That too is a sign of ownership in a way. It signals to others socially that the couple have partners and aren’t available. Branding and collars are each a sign of belonging in a certain way that, with the right person, I feel very happy to display.
It will be interesting to see how long the brand lasts…and it has a funny name too. It’s my labe-lia…a combination of labia and label…which is more of Remus’s joy in word play.
I got to embark on playing with girls this past weekend. I’d played with girls a bit with a submissive in my life a couple years ago, but it wasn’t a happy relationship that I could relax in. I still have that relationship on a different standing, but it’s redirected toward a loose mentoring when she asks for such guidance. I appreciate that new direction of the relationship…and I’m glad for the space we now have between us. In any case, this was the first time I formally negotiated playing and followed it through. I loved it. I enjoyed the connection with one woman in particular. She’s a very good friend. It was good to play with someone I really care about.
I am also seeing that life is settling down amongst our community. We are beginning to see the drama die out that surrounded the split with his wife. I am seriously enjoying that peacefulness. It’s sweet and it makes things much more fun for the whole community. We’ve been making some new friends too.
I have embarked on a new enterprise here in Vt.; volunteerism. I used to put much of my time into volunteering in a variety of ways, even performing as a singer. I loved doing good things for others with my free time. I hope that this new endeavor will fit easily into my busy schedule in the semesters to come.
Since I last wrote I made a decision to change my career goal. I deliberately choose to make about 10K less a year so that I can have more flexibility in my life about traveling and so that I’ll have more plentiful choices for job opportunities. There’s scholastic advantages to it too. It will cost me less and I’ll get it done sooner too and I can get to work in my field before I even finish my study if I want to.
It’s not an easy decision to make much less a year…but it feels like a good decision. I feel really at peace about it.
I renewed my yoga practice this fall and it’s been renewing the deep sense of balance and happiness I’d lost track of to some extent last winter. I’m always happy, but there’s a depth to it that springs of this yoga practice that is very satisfying. It feels so good to see muscle developing again after much of a year nursing injuries. I love to feel my body strengthen its immune system and stamina too. I love the effect it has on my emotions and viewpoint also. I’ve more equanimity and joy bubbles up to the surface easily. In the past week, it’s been spontaneously bubbling, with no triggers. I’m smiling at nothing again. It’s been awhile since I did that…and it’s been awhile since I felt myself bubbling with songs or with the urge to make something. I love feeling that…
We’ve plans with our children over the holiday. It will be great to see them…and to see friends to.
Life is good. Very, very good and I am grateful.