Remus and I have been experiencing a divergence in needs for sex and intimacy. Mine is greater than his just now. “Just now” has been lasting awhile. The awhile part has brought some fears to the surface now and again. It’s made me reluctant to discuss how things are going between us.
I’m not unhappy with loving him or living with him. I’m not unhappy within myself. I’m not unhappy with how we communicate or relate. I’m a bit bewildered by the change…and he can’t explain the change other than to point out that he’s distracted with many things in his life right now. I’m a bit sad about the lack of closeness that I’ve become accustomed to. There’s moments when I feel a little depressed about it. Most of the time, I’m focusing on other things in my life and in our relationship.
I am happy to say that when we share moments together, they are usually mutually nourishing…mutually sexy. The past two mornings, he’s woke early and made love to me. We’ve shared times without any goals, just touching. He remarked this morning that he loves seeing me smiling…It’s sweet that he noted how happy it makes me to share love-making with him.
Sometimes I’m startled how much I love him…how peaceful that loving is too.