This post on relationships and polyamory is very concise and very well written. I couldn’t have written it all out better myself. For a long while I’ve wanted to capture some thoughts here about what my ethic is on relationships. I guess I didn’t need to bother, because it’s been said very well already. If I were to add anything additional to what Bendy said, it would be that I cultivate gratitude inside myself. It helps me meet my whole life with more enthusiasm and more equanimity.
As well, I think I’d add, I don’t treat polyamory like an all-you-can-eat buffet. There’s only so much time in a day, week or month. Relationships need time and nurturing to remain close and healthy. If I’ve got more than I have time and energy to nurture, then the connections can easily become entanglements that complicate the hell out of life…and that’s if they are going smoothly.
And finally, I have been learning from Remus how to take my time with resolving conflicts. I try to take days or weeks to process my emotions before I deal with an emotional issue with someone. I used to think things needed fixing right away and yet, often that pushing created more turmoil because we weren’t ready to respond. We were busy reacting to emotion balloons. Time lets the air and heat out of hot balloons. A very needful relationship skill.