…argue. We rarely disagree about anything. I met and began dating Remus in April a year ago now. Since then we’ve had very few disagreements. I can count them on one hand and I don’t need all my fingers. There’s nothing really to disagree about. We discuss things we have differing viewpoints about. We don’t feel any need to have our way with each other. Even as the dominant partner in this relationship, Remus doesn’t feel the need to be right or control me. He feels a need to direct things and to be served. That’s a very different thing and it matches my need to enjoy giving. We eventually find an agreement we’re both happy with. He’s just as quick to shift his perspectives to accommodate my thoughts as I am apt to do so as the submissive. That is because he values wisdom and is quite willing to consider the best ways and good ideas from others, even his subordinate. In my mind, this speaks of great maturity…while some very immature people who call themselves “Dominant” and “Master” are heartily offended at the least suggestion of an idea not their own, or accommodating others needs and wishes. What an eye rolling attitude of entitlement! A sense of entitlement to be worshiped and cared for is sexy…being domineering is simply not.

The few times we actually disagreed or became irritated with each other, it wasn’t because either of us weren’t respecting the other…or because we’d reached an elemental impasse. It was because we were tired or not feeling well. When we got some rest, we spoke again and realized we’d said the same things in different ways.

For me, being highly compatible is important. I can’t emphasize the importance enough. People often mistake intensity and eroticism for happiness in their romantic relationships. They mistake fast paced, exciting energy and regard for each other as the mark of being in love. Real love is relaxing. It’s enlivening. It is freeing, kind, respectful and considerate…There’s passion, but real love transcends this and deepens even without sex. That all sounds pragmatic doesn’t it? I suppose it is…but when these compatibility aspects are in place the passion is deeper and better because you can relax when experiencing it. There’s no barriers to self, other or the relationship as a result.

So…when Remus takes my throat or my gspots in hand, he takes me without barriers…and he gets all of me. That, to me, is how love and power exchange ought to be.

 

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