I’ve been craving ritual as a submissive lately.
My mind has been building fantasies. Sometimes detailed. Sometimes not.
One detail-less one is a kneeling ritual. Obeisance even. No other thoughts about it. Just emotions…a desire to display my deep admiration and subservience. A strong desire.
One, more detailed ritual fantasy is springs from a desire to be ordered during sex…springs from my desire to be used…This desire for ritual is repetitive. I’ve had this fantasy before. It only arises when I feel deeply submissive and when I know a man well enough to know exactly how to tilt my hips, hold my legs and clench my pussy to cause an ejaculation in my partner. Having this knowledge and power gives me so much control over the sexual experiences I share with my partner. With Remus I really want to surrender that control.
Lately, I’ve felt restless. Some of it is fearfulness of the developing intimacies between Remus and I. Will we grow bored with each other? Will we begin to irritate each other? Or more succinctly, my fear is that things will get even better than they are now. I’ve never been this happy in a relationship. I’ve never felt so safe. I don’t usually entertain fears. Lately these have been niggling at me.
The desires for ritual are a sign of a deep desire for more intimacy and to develop more trust with Remus.
And that brings me to the little girl desires I feel for ritual…I want to sit in Daddy’s lap, be rocked…things little girls like to do with Daddy.
My heart feels vulnerable. Despite these fears and this restlessness, I feel safe with Remus. I feel utterly devoted…