I said it was going to be a busy weekend and I was right. I worked until I was exhausted and sore on Saturday and Sunday. It felt good to accomplish what we did. I like it when I fall into bed feeling all used up from my efforts that day. We accomplished our goals about getting phase one of Remus’s home project done though and that felt good. We did that with no major issues with his wife too.
We had a lovely Birthday for him. He ended a long, tiring, but reportedly enjoyable day with a massage which put him to sleep, so I poured him into bed and we both went to sleep early. Both days we relaxed all morning before getting to work too. It was a nice weekend!
On the holiday, we spent time with some of Remus’s friends. I had a lovely time. We ate fun holiday foods. We had a wonderful drive. We got some sunshine by the Lake. We were relaxed and happy when we got back from our outing with his friends. Afterward, Remus and I were just not the least bit interested in going home to his wife and a potential houseful, so we went to the silliest possible movie. I do not regret to say that I forget the name of it. It was funny…Johnny Depp was in it. If you like dark, really odd comedy’s you’ll love this movie, but otherwise, it’s just plain silly.
As for how the holiday and Remus’s wife’s party went?
We were gone, so I have no idea how it went.
She was asked for two things this weekend. Give something back which belongs to Remus. She didn’t do it. Yet again. She was also told not to use my bathroom, nor allow guests to use it. She says that someone went in there without her prior knowledge. However, since I found evidence my cat’s box was in my office and not in the bathroom where it usually goes, that seems not to be truth. And since several of things which have a spot to live out of the way were either on the floor or out of place in the middle of the bathroom floor…and since my cat was seriously upset when I got back…I’d say that she chose to move the box into my office and to have her guests use my bathroom without my permission. My cat would have been upset either way…whether he was closed in there or whether he was free, but unable to get to his box. Remus agrees that things seem to point to that conclusion.
I liken this to how things work in the BDSM world. When someone informs you of a limit and you, ignore that limit and do/not do something the bottom has told you is important to bear in mind/not do/take care of, then you are behaving in a manner which is abusive. Plain and simple. Observing people’s boundaries is intensely important. If Remus’s wife heard that someone had ignored a bottom’s limits she’d declare them abusive.
It seems that ethical behavior is only for the dungeon or the bedroom where she’s concerned, because she seems to feel perfectly free to ignore me and Remus when we tell her about a boundary if it doesn’t suit her to observe it…
So…It was an unexpectedly terrific weekend that ended on a sour note (my cat was very upset to the point of puking) when we got home and found these two things out. She’d been so calm and non-hostile all weekend, I thought it would be okay to trust her not to behave unethically. That she did was typical of her behavior the past few months. I should have known a momentary calm when getting her way wasn’t any indication of true respect for my boundaries. Remus is so used to her behavior regarding stuff like this that he just shrugged when he realized what she’d done and went to sleep. I am still intensely irritated with her about it. Irritated enough that I can’t sleep, so I came in here for a brain-dump.
My consideration and thoughtfulness wasn’t returned in kind in the least.
And now I’m letting it go…and continuing to wish for a home filled with spiritual light and lightness, happy laughter, softness, openness and kindness…Which starts with me and my own emotions/thinking…Enough of that anger stuff…back to regular programming for this mind and heart, which is to find life joyful and prayerful and fun.
End of story.