I love that you listen to me. You notice whatever I say and you remember it. Even when it seems random, like my dog’s name from my coaster story, or noticing when I say I don’t want you to look something up because you’ll get mad and then I watch you deal with your intense frustration so that you can be available to me…to enjoy me.
You are patient with me and with others. You let us have our anger. You let yourself have your anger, but you don’t act in anger. You take your time and let people be calm enough to be reasonable. You give people space to be kind even if you are being shown that kindness is not likely to happen. I like that about you. It shows depth and integrity.
I like that you don’t think anger is something that needs to be fixed. I like that you let me feel sad if I’m sad and I love that you show sympathy and give comfort without trying to make me feel better. You let emotions be the way they need to be until they are done…and you trust they will pass. You don’t approach me with the assumption that I’ll still be in my mood when you come back to me.
I like that you aren’t ashamed of your anger. I like that you find humor in it, but don’t express it at others expense in a direct or hurtful way. I like that you let people know you are irritated with them, without making them feel belittled.
I feel respected by your assumption of my self-responsibility. I feel respected by your trust that I can take care of myself emotionally…and that you hug me when I’m really mad, that you listen when I’m really sad, that you cuddle me when I’m fearful and that you don’t tell me bs just so I’ll feel better. If you have a truth that will scare me, make me feel sad or piss me off, you still don’t hide it. You tell me and you give me the respect I deserve in trusting me to take care of myself, to be reasonable, to be magnanimous, to be loving.
I love that when I ask for help emotionally, you find ways to do that without sacrificing or burdening yourself.
I love that you aren’t embarrassed by, nor turned off by how I want to be objectified. I love that even as you cater to this aspect of me, you take incredibly good care of my inner little girl who doesn’t want to play that way at all. It is an odd, scary thing sometimes for me to have such vastly differing needs. You bring them together lovingly and kindly and with all the raunchy I need and crave. How you do that with such aplomb, I’m sure I don’t really know, but I watch you do it and I’m so grateful to have a partner who gets me, and so well. I am grateful you love me because of it, not despite it.
I love that you know what my favorites are, what’s important to me, what I’m sentimental about…I love that you find your own ways of honoring those things without feeling obligated or burdened by my delights.
These are just a very few reasons I love you Remus…Just a few.