Remus was asking me about a concept the other day which our meditation teacher was sharing. He asked me about the concept of Sangha. Sangha is a Buddhist word meaning your spiritual community. Seems like that would be all these nice, airy, fairy folks who help us have a good meditation. In fact is can be sometimes…but not always. Sangha is meant to help us to shed illusions, shed habits, shed obsessions, shed emotions which prison us…If you’ve had hard times and you’ve had a friend who sticks by you thick and thin, then you know there’s more to friendship and community than only being there for the good stuff.
Besides constancy in all times, Sangha is also about those that truly challenge us. I don’t know about you, but life has kicked my ass a few times and tossed me some incredibly, really difficult people to deal with. Yanno what? Difficult people are part of the Sangha too because they offer a challenge to drop our cozy viewpoints we like for others which help us be more conscious, more conscientious and more compassionate. All that irritating, exasperating turmoil we can sometimes feel around certain people is a calling to be more than we were in order not to get caught in their shit.
My metamour is really irritating to me.
I could do with less irritation…less hard work…less lemonade.
I’m sure she feels she could too.
For today, we are here though and this is what our individual and collective choices brought us to….so dealing with each other even in the very indirect ways we do is what life naturally holds. For today, we, neither of us, can change this.
We each have a choice to be kind, to be peaceful, to be respectful today.
I’m pretty interested in kindness, peacefulness and respect. That’s what I’m choosing, because happiness bubbles up around and in that. It does not do so in hatefulness, strife and contempt. I’m very sure of that. I far prefer happiness. Any sane, intelligent person does.
It requires not letting myself simmer over my hurts or my irritations. It requires doing for myself exactly what I’d do for a small child about not eating too much sugar and having more fresh veges. I’m doing my very best not to let myself do all kinds of internal bitching to myself about her. I’m making myself focus on meditation very deeply because it is a nutriment for my self esteem, for cultivating patience, for cultivating kindness….all things that will keep us from having open hostilities and lost tempers….not only because it will help me not lose my temper if she does something snide…but also because it will help me not be tempted toward snideness or making a constant stream of critical remarks about her…Most importantly to me it keeps her from renting space in my head. She’s had a room rented out there for far too long now. I’m doing my best to boot her out.
Whether she does the same or not, is really up to her. I just know what I’m doing. Now back to breathing joyfully. A walk to the PO in a few and to mail some stuff for Remus…Should be a nice afternoon. I’m looking forward to it…Maybe a spanking will be forthcoming today. Haven’t had one in awhile.