My vacation-retreat continues. I’m doing things at a slow pace. No deadlines other than on days when Remus comes home for lunch or when I have an appointment. It’s a relaxing sort of pace.

Today, I’m just enjoying conscious breathing. This very basic meditation is full of everything that exists. The joyfulness of breathing, the joyfulness of being alive. The profound woundedness emanating from my metamour…the woundedness of the world…the green of the rain soaked leaves and grass…the sound of traffic….the scents of mushrooms, beans, milk and meatballs simmering for lunch. It includes my pain too…and the busy-ness of all those people around me. This is the suchness of life.

I’ve been thinking about how what we believe informs each part of our lives…it creates karma.

We believe in our God being the one god and the one way. This leads to arrogance, which leads to wars.

We believe someone is a threat, so we become defensive and even go on the offensive trying to get others to dislike or gang up too.

We believe we aren’t good enough, so if we think we could be replaced, we become hostile, jealous, loathing.

We think we are fat, so we eat, justifying it somehow and then get fatter…

What we think becomes actions sooner or later…and what do brings consequences sooner or later. It may not be easy to see the original cause with all the effects in our way, but it is so. It is so for me, just as much as for anyone.

I also think about how woundedness causes us to be incapable of listening unless we are incredibly developed individuals. Most of us can’t. I certainly struggle with listening clearly when I am hurt.

I have no real points…Just considering the world’s pain, her pain, his pain, my pain…and breathing with it….realizing how miraculous it is that despite being acutely aware of all this pain, by simply enjoying breathing, happiness and joy simply bubbles up in me….and I savor it for the elixir of life that it is.

I am cognizant of an immense gratitude growing in me for this down time. It is hard work to become this mindful in daily life for me still. As this mindfulness deepens and softens me, I get a chance to be more aware, more compassionate, more open, to taste the unconditioned self that lives in me and let her free. There’s more days to come and I’m looking forward to further deepening…

It will make it just that much easier to be mindful when needs I’m busy again. That’s a bubbling up blessing.

Pots bubble too…Off to finish lunch.


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