Several unrelated morning thoughts…or maybe more than several. Who knows…I’m in a meandering writing mood.
First…A quote I keep around caught my eye today: “Breath sweeps mind.” Kwaong
Next…The fog is very pretty today.
And…I am so glad that my son and I went to see the movie Where the Wild Things Are. Maurice Sendak is passed and it feels to me that I am lucky my son and I got to enjoy his creative mind…to learn that although much of the world stomps on the creative mind, not everyone or everything does…and the stories and creations that arise from it can be amazing places and things to grow with.
Also…I like to meditate with art…certain kinds anyway. I enjoy how frequently art can touch something I’m only barely conscious of…or it can bring back into focus those things I’m distracting myself from. I like tarot for that reason. It’s especially designed for this kind of meditation technique. I don’t much do it for divination.
Today, I drew these cards from the Greenwood Tarot, which is one of my favorite desks:
I contemplated these four for a couple hours. I finally got up and looked them up, because I felt curious what the descriptive blurbs about the deck said. Before I read it, I thought about the silence, stillness and watchfulness of Lynx. A very powerful creature. They often live quite close by humans, but they are very rarely seen. The Insecurity card is fairly obvious to me…I feel insecure about living here. Not because I feel wrong, but because others perceptions of my choices don’t really match any of my motivations nor does all the information that informed my decisions when I made them seem to be being disseminated…or if it is, it’s being shrugged off as BS because it doesn’t match opinions of me. That pokes buttons. Fox perplexed me a bit. In most of my cultural teachings, fox is mischievous, but always there’s some underlying wisdom in it’s silly actions in cultural stories about fox. Usually, it’s to inspire others to grow and stretch…but today, that didn’t seem to be quite the right message of the card I picked. I felt it was just out of sync this time. The fulfillment card seems clear too…that ultimately when we all get through this, there will be a deep fulfillment. I do know that to be true.
So I looked all the cards up. Lynx is at the top of the food chain, speed, cunning a formidable night hunter. Fox is a beguiling mixture of wisdom and playfulness…cunning, a formidable night hunter. They sound very alike it seems…What stood between them is insecurity. I think these cards are about my metamour and I. I think that neither card represents only me or her. I think the insecurity card is about both of us. We each bring our own insecurities to this situation and they’ve not played well together. I don’t blame her any more than I blame myself really. I think it just is…and watching this play out is a call toward growth for us both. I think it is most unfortunate that we didn’t find a way to like and trust each other…Well there are many things I like about her…It’s just the other things have made it impossible for me to enjoy the things I like about her.
Regardless, all along in this, I’ve had the clear and strong sense that everyone involved in this situation will grow into a deep fulfillment. I have no doubts about this.
All in all, these cards were a lovely contemplation of strength and fallibility…compassion and fulfillment.
Finally…Speaking of artists and art and all it means…There’s a post here about the painting The Scream which recently sold for just shy of 20 Million (Can you believe it?) from a very funny writer. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did.