I was on my way home today. The radio was on and this song by Nelly Furtado was on. (I’d embed this youtube, but youtube has a habit of not embedding any more.) I was most of the way through listening to the song, really jamming on that winsome rhythm that is my favorite rhythm by far….when I realized. Wow! I love this song again.
Until today, every time I heard that song, I shut it off. I love that song…but it was playing on the radio as a top hit during the beginning of one of the most difficult periods of time in my life. Each time I heard that song, I’d cringe and want to forget it. Off would go the song.
Seeing my joy in that song made me realize that I’ve healed from those experiences.
What a blessing!
And to be honest, I have two of the most difficult, angry, hostile, territorial women I’ve ever had to deal with in my adult life to thank for it. One of them I still live with…and yet I feel grateful to her for the hidden blessings that came of this time with her. I have reaped a totally unexpected, unlooked for blessing.
Life is funny and oh so complicated sometimes. We just never know what grace underlies difficulties sometimes. Sometimes it is pretty obvious. Mostly? I notice that the most difficult times are the times that I am the most graced, the most blessed, the most healed, the most strengthened…They are the times that I am the most grateful for because life rubbed off some really rough edges and that polishing makes me a far better person, a more accomplished person.
Some of the most ugly things that have ever happened in my life…things that I wouldn’t wish on an enemy, I”ve realized brought me grace and strength that I’d not otherwise have. I have realized that were it not for this ugliness that forced me to grow, I would not be the person I am today.
I really love the woman I am…so how can I be anything but grateful for all that brought me to this moment and who I am? Even though some of it was very ugly indeed…?