I was punished by Remus yesterday. He was upset with me for hurting his feelings. I’d apologized, taking full responsibility for how it had effected him. He didn’t say much of anything because we both knew I was right. I’d been a jerk. Plain and simple. So, he asked me to fix his hair. We shared a deep long hug and then he kissed me. Before he was done, he did something I laugh about, but we both know I hate. He stuck his tongue up my nose. Normally he just threatens to do it because I’ll squirm and try to get away from him. He enjoys my silly attempts to hold my hands over my face and all the noises I make which amuse the hell out of him. He doesn’t stick his tongue up there far. It doesn’t take much more than holding it near the opening. It’s wet and it feels gooey and like an invasion of personal space. Nevertheless the dominant in me is utterly completely amused by this. If I were him, I’d do EXACTLY the same thing. And it would amuse me no end to watch the reactions.
Nevertheless, I didn’t fight him much because I knew I deserved it. I said as much. He smirked and did it again to make his point. I held still but wriggled in place intensely with the urge to fight him. He just laughed at my predicament, hugged me and finished getting ready for work.
What I was thinking about is that he’s never had much cause to punish me. I don’t give him cause. I adore him and don’t want him to need to reprimand me for anything. He’s always very gentle. Nevertheless if I think I’ve hurt him, I feel weepy about it…and it takes awhile for me to feel better about it. I actually do feel better if he gives me consequences. It affirms our relationship and helps me to atone for hurting him.
I am grateful he understands how easily hurt I can feel when I feel I’ve acted in ways that deserve consequences. He’s a good man…and so kind to me. I am so lucky he loves me.