I woke early and alert today. Ready to meet the world…and the first way the world responded is Remus woke interested in making love to me.I feel incredibly lucky that he is usually interested in making love to me.

He reached between us and began to tap my clit with his fingers. As I responded, he gradually smacked harder until the force demanded his whole hand. Finally he was fully spanking my clit. I came, moaning against his neck. He smiled and slid his fingers into me, playing with my gspots. He would start an orgasm and then before it could fully engage, he’d move his fingers off my gspot, ending the orgasm. He hasn’t done this in a while. He generally makes me cum a few times before doing whatever else he wants. I realized yet again, that he has learned my body so well he can choose when I orgasm and how and where. He is skilled and he uses that knowledge to increase the power exchange between us. He always lets me cum eventually.

After he does this a few times, I begin to beg him to cum. I don’t get a response to this, so I begin to beg him to make me cum. Sometimes I must ask the right question to get a response. He smiles at my change in question but doesn’t respond otherwise. He doesn’t stop fingering me. Orgasms stop…

…and then start… then averted again several more times.My urgency increases and my voice changes…the begging starts to take on a deeper note. I wriggle and beg in urgent desire and hopefulness that he’d hold his fingers on my button just an instant longer so the orgasm would roll over me…but he…doesn’t.

I can feel his cock jumping in my hands in arousal each time he does this. And then he finally answers my begging.

“No.”

I could feel the finality in telling me no.

I immediately stopped begging to cum and surrendered to his cock sliding in me…I immediately surrendered to his desire to demonstrate his dominance over me. I watched him watch me. I watched his satisfaction when he said not to me and then the deeper satisfaction of watching me accept it. I watched him enjoying the results of that dominance while he used me long and slow.

He lays atop of me, thrusting. Sometimes hard…he fucks me a long while. He knows I love this…but I know that today, it’s not really for me that he’s lingering over fucking me. It is for him. For the joy of fucking me. He just enjoys the sensations of being inside me, fucking me however it feels good. Aroused by his dominance, I begin to beg him to use me then. This begging always arouses him and he often will ride me and that encouragement to ejaculation with little hesitation. He often enjoys fucking me short and sweet and just for him. I love it long like this…but I love that he takes his pleasure without mine too. Not this time does he ejaculate swiftly. He interrupts his rhythm and me, saying he’s “not done using me yet.” He settles into another position.

He fucks me awhile longer. Sometimes slow and deep, sometimes rutting on me, fucking me hard and fast, sometimes lifting his hips to start orgasms and then lowering his hips to avert them. Despite playing with my cunt to limit my orgasms and yet increase my grip on his cock with my cunt, I have several orgasms…not the hard sating kind that I do when he fingers me, but ones that feel good around his cock and which make me feel I’ve pleased him deeply.

I smile and enjoy his pleasure. I watch him fuck me…enjoying him watching my “porn star tits” jiggle with his thrusts…feeling him getting hard watching me jiggle, slowing now and then to delay his ejaculation…

I think about how when he was fingering me, he chose to only try to make me wet so he could use me. I was too dehydrated from the night’s fast to get juicy for him, so he used a lube; teasing me to the verge of orgasms and then averting it…

I think how instead of giving me orgasms and indulging my begging, he began to fuck me.

I thought about how he chose his own pleasure, not mine. He was enjoying the sensation of his fuck. It caused me to think how it made me feel deeply that I was his toy, his fuck hole, his slave…That deepened my love for him and my desire for him. I began to cum harder when I came.

He leaned over me several times to tell me he loves me. And I thought about how, in his love for me, he was using me. Not because I need it…but because he does. He wouldn’t do it for himself at first; when we first met and I finally confided my desire and need for being used. It took months of careful watching me while he tried it out and learned to trust that I wouldn’t be hurt if he did this with me. Slowly, he’s begun to assert his authority over me more and more.

I lay there under him watching him, rocking pleasingly on his cock to make it far more pleasurable for him, with no urge now to pursue my own pleasure…only the urge to pursue his. With all my being, I wanted him to be pleased with his fuck…with me. In this self-forgetfulness, I am finding contentment, peace and happiness…and deep satisfaction.

…When he was ready, he let himself cum. I could feel the force of it inside me. It always makes me orgasm intensely when he cums…which makes his ejaculation so much better feeling for him. We always cum together. I know this is something that couples try for and only experience rarely and fleetingly…but we do it every time we are intimate. Every time. It is a joy to me…

I am sated emotionally by these moments. My libido is intense but not driving me…only distracting. I do want to cum physically, but I feel contended and happy emotionally. I have fulfilled his needs and my role. I have given him what he wants. He made his decision about whether I was allowed to cum today. I haven’t asked him again because his “no” was final. When he’s ready, he will allow me to cum. I am enjoying his dominance over me…his ownership of me…which feels like it is a tangible, solid thing inside my body…this pressure for unfulfilled orgasm is what he made in me. I am filled with his orgasm and his love…and his intention to use me until I am rewarded perhaps days from now…

Whenever he decides that is

I submit to that. I seek that. I yearn for that.

This kind of submissiveness is something I’ve given only once in my life and very unhappily. With Remus, I feel no hurt or denial, no sense of deprivation if he denies me something I want or even need. That is because his interest in my happiness is even greater than interest in his own. He will attend to me diligently when he’s ready. I know this. I trust this. So I am content with his decision because I trust in him. I know that this is only a delay in my pleasure…

His pleasure and happiness truly do fulfill me. I can see that my happiness and fulfillment make him just as happy. I am so happy in this power exchange. I love him very much and I’m so lucky to be with him. Thank you Sir for using me…for valuing me…for loving me and giving me your heart…for trusting me…for providing for me…for giving me your time, attention and your dominance. I am truly blessed. Truly.

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