Me: “What do you like about how I communicate? What’s helpful about it?”
Remus: “You are very direct and honest about what you think and feel.”
I grin and said, “Really?” I would have joked that he’s doing a good job with the manly effort to make me feel good about myself, but I could see he was in earnest about his response. He really meant it. He wasn’t just trying to stroke my ego.
Still smiling, I asked my next question. “What do you find confusing or difficult about how I communicate?”
His facial expression changed. He looked very stern and serious and I grew concerned he thought this was a girl bomb…Yanno those don’t you? Those bombs women sometimes drop when they want reassurance but there’s no comforting or convincing them…those bombs that no matter how you answer, the woman’s gonna be upset? Yeah…I wondered if he thought I was dropping one. So I rushed to reassure him that I wasn’t dropping one that I really did want to know so I could learn. His expression changed immediately. He said, “I know that. You never do that. I was just trying to think of something. I really can’t….”
“Okay…what about surprising, or scary, or ineffective…?”
He shook his head no each time I suggested something. “I really can’t think of anything. You are really easy for me to communicate with. ”
I’m still thinking “wow…”
I didn’t know that about myself.
I think he’s an exception in my life…because I do tend to have more conflicts and misunderstandings with others and never do with him. We’ve never fought. Not even once. We’ve never really even been irritated with each other in a serious manner. A few times we’ve disappointed each other in human moments but we’ve talked it out each time.
It’s such a good friendship. I’m deeply grateful to have someone in my life with whom communication is so easy. That is a deep blessing.