tumblr_mqkw4j3mwU1rrgft7o1_500Wow…Life has been eventful of late. My friend Ginny has moved after an event in her daughter’s life that necessitated some sacrifices on the part of Ginny…It was good to see her having fun this past weekend at a kink event. I think she’s worried that she wouldn’t get to have much kinky fun in the year or years ahead. It was good to see her proven wrong…*smiles* Did my heart good to see her smiling!

I am also seeing changes for Remus. His wife has been…Not quite honest or at least not forthcoming about her true feelings toward me…and she’s also had an attitude toward me that is far from what she stated to me personally. In fact, I am sad to see that her attitude toward me is no better than Deb’s was…actually just as toxic it seems…Though she’s not overtly hostile…she’s determined to be friendly it seems.

However, she recently said some very hurtful things to Remus…who won’t even tell me about the full content of them.

I am sad for him…and I”m sad that this situation hasn’t turned out different than it has. I guess that she’s listened to gossip about me and has had an attitude toward me from the very beginning. What a very sad thing…

Nothing I can do about it though…not about any of it.

I just wish that I could wave my wand and make it all better.


It looks like he’s going to ask her for a separation. He’s very angry with her and very hurt.

She’ll be allowed to live downstairs until she figures out where she’ll live. That may take several months.

One thing though…

He is adamant that I am not to even think about moving. He wants me to stay. “End of discussion!”

He has been incredibly firm that I tell him if she’s unkind or rude in some way. He says that she will be out sooner if she acts out toward me.

I told him that I didn’t want him to choose between us or police us, so when she’s home, I’ll stay upstairs as much as possible, to avoid instances that could turn sour…

He seemed relieved about that…and also sad.

We will work this out…

I am very sad that I seem to have become a bone of contention between them. I did my best not to be…and she misled us both about her liking for me…

I”ve been doing alot of meditation on the karma of all this…and trying to just be present.

And I’m still enjoying my vacation…not writing much or even doing much more than keeping house and cooking…some walks now and then. I’m just resting…

On a high note?

I’m so happy to note that Remus and I are doing  just fabulous…Truly. *smiles*

3 thoughts on “Wow…

  1. I am glad that you and He are on sound footing.
    Sorry to hear compersion is not in her mind. Sometimes our fears take over and are triggered in ways we don’t understand.
    Sometimes it takes time to grow into it….
    At least the overt action is to remain friendly.



    1. I have been trying to just focus on my practice and not give this situation too much energy and attention…and to share some good energy during my meditations…I’ve been trying to just be a good friend to Obiwan and if he seems to want advice to offer it as objectively as possible…It is not easy.

      At the bottom of it all is the knowledge that I wish he’d just give up on her and have her move out because I think she’s really bad for him on all sorts of levels…

      And also, I love him and I know that he loves her and that until he’s done all he can to make his marriage work, he really needs to do so.

      If they can make things up, they may end up spending significant time together in future and I’ll find myself needing to refocus my heart energy and my sexual energy…to find a friend.

      I am not interested in doing that, but I will take good care of myself certainly and will remain supportive of him and his marriage because that’s what he needs.

      That’s not a matter of submissiveness…just being loving.

      How’s things with you anyway?


  2. Yes, sometimes I have a difficult time putting on my “Friend” hat and dismissing all else to remain objective, and be supportive and loving. Ultimately and no matter what my opinion is; whether it meshes with his or not and whether he takes my advice or not, I will trust His decisions as His. I cannot and will not be forced to make them no matter what I desire.

    Good with me. Working with my Rope Top on a regular basis. She is open to many more kinds of play I’ve found. I only have to ask. *smiles*

    Other than that, working on projects at home and taking care of me (for once). I am becoming more and more clear on what I want don’t want to put energy into and with whom these days.

    Hoping to go back to work in the next few weeks. Not from boredom, but because on the 20th of next month my insurance ends and then will have to wait another 90 days after starting back for it to take effect again. Otherwise I am just fine with my unemployment without dipping much into savings each month.



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