tumblr_mio95x1pW71rc6rwto1_500We are venturing into orgasm control.

It was my suggestion that he take my toys and make all decisions about when and if I can orgasm.

He accepted the idea…and promptly began teasing me about whether I would  regret the idea. He began to fantasize aloud about this or that decision he could make to bring about erotic discomfort and denial.

I refused to be bated emotionally, but I did play along with him for the most part. Eventually he managed to create a little anxiety about it…but mostly I trust him to not make this agreement into something unpleasant for me.

We discussed what we each liked about the idea…what we imagined we’d like or enjoy about it.

His thoughts are, as usual, simple and to the point. He likes having more control of my pleasure and he likes my submission about it.

I think about all the potential for foreplay in that he could ask me to get a toy and play with it as he watches or that I’d get to enjoy additional penetration sometimes when my craving exceeded his interest. I think about the potential opportunities to extend our dynamic to times of separation, since he could text or call me about playing with toys, and either of us could initiate this. I also talked about how appealing it is to abstain and submit unless he’s involved in my orgasm. I thought about how it might increase the intensity of our time together if there were moments that I waited for him before experiencing orgasm…and how it might be very erotic to be directed to wear a dildo for him.

This could make our time together more intimate and fun…especially if he applies his usual humor to the whole thing.

What I am noticing today, our first day, is that I am wanting to get out a toy. I have not, of course. I haven’t text him either. He’s busy today. I didn’t want to bother him…but I’ve thought about it. Alot.

Yep. We’re back to all one alot and not a lot. *winks and smiles*

In any case, what I hope for is a tantric experience…the beauty and blessing of increasing our intimacy and joy in each other…to deepen our connection to each other in terms of our power exchange.

One thought on “Orgasm Control

  1. I am wondering, just thinking aloud, if you abstaining may lead to similar feelings or enlightenment, if there was enlightenment, during your period of abstinence this past spring. I realize your going to still be having sex but due to it being limited in this sense if you may have similar experiences.


We'd love to hear from you, so dance your fingers across your keyboard!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s