I love rope bondage.
We all know that.
I realized something over the past month or so though.
It hurts when I try to do rope bondage for sex in a not-fun hurting way.
When I realized that I didn’t really like it for sex, I began to wonder why I actually love it…
I have concluded:
What I love is the feeling of rope on my skin.
It feels like a hug.
It feels very erotic to be helplessly hugged like that.
I love to be decorated.
Rope is only one way I love that.
I think it is pretty to look at against my skin.
I love to see the ligature marks afterward too.
I love the sensations of being tied and untied.
It is just incredibly, deliciously sensual to feel the rope against my skin.
I realized that just feeling against my skin isn’t enough.
I need to know that when it’s sliding across my skin, it is going to make me helpless…
Or free me…
Those elements are what I desire and why I desire rope bondage so much.
These are really the same reasons I desire knife play…but don’t truly want to be carved on.
I think rope bondage for sex doesn’t work well with how I respond to sex, which is to curl up into a ball and to hug my partner to my body.
It generally strains muscles.
When I think back on what I actually enjoyed about rope play, when I’ve been fortunate enough to have it, was always the sensuality of the tying and untying whilst cuddling, talking and touching me that has happened with many of the rope play sessions I’ve had.
I realized that I’ve had more fun with rope play while a man is learning, than I’ve had when he’s actually tied me up for sex.
So…I think I’m reframing my interest in it.
It feels more like a sensory play activity to me.
A way to feel submissive and loved.
Just as vital to me as other types of play, but I just don’t have the same goals with it that I did.
I think I enjoyed a partial binding whilst cuddling and napping with Remus a few weeks ago more than any other session I’ve ever had.
I was tied up for a couple hours while we napped together. He’d tied me up for sex and only partially let me loose while we relaxed. We fell asleep that way and I enjoyed every second of it.
I enjoyed that nap tied up more than I enjoyed the sex tied up.
That begs a question though…
Why did/do I want rope play for sex then?
What elements of it were/are so appealing?
If it really isn’t what I want, then why do I feel disappointed about the bondage for sex not being a part of play?
But now it’s time to make Remus some lunch…