It is the time of year when I have trouble with words.
My summer ceremony is coming up and I’m diving deep into soulful emotions.
I feel so contemplative…
Being on silence right now would seem normal and comfortable.
On the other hand, I feel bubbly and full…
So full that I feel I might burst at the seams.
Full of I don’t know what actually.
Emotions, understanding, questions, change.
I am full of change.
I feel erotic.
I feel strong and confident.
I feel weak and frightened as a baby.
Music seems to be the best way to express things.
I feel full of music.
I want a spanking.
I want to sit in sangha and meditate.
I want to dance.
I want to sing.
I want to be alone.
I want to wander a garden and speak of deep things until I run out of words.
I want to laugh.
I want to cry.
I did say bursting.
I get like this every year.
I always say it is such an odd place to be.
Happens every year this time.