Wow…My mind is trying to jump into planning and living days ahead. I am thinking about how to pack, what to pack, when to pack…when to do homework…checking into car rentals and to see if Hostelling International has any hostels in the B’ton area. They don’t by the way…but there is a hostel. Its affordable, so I feel good knowing there’s a place to sleep if I need it without imposing on anyone for the night…
I keep bringing myself back to this moment. The breeze is cool today. It is sunny and gloriously green out.
My cat has been having really bad anxiety attacks the past couple days. He’s very scared about us splitting household with Ginny and her kitty. We are doing deep breathing and lots of cuddling. He was so anxious this morning, that I couldn’t start my meditation without putting him in my lap for a cuddle. He’s much reassured now and is taking his morning nap on the bed beside me.
Did I mention that I’ll miss my bed whilst I’m couch hopping…? I’ll miss it the most because I won’t get to share it with my play partner Remus….
Did I mention that I am enjoying erotic hypnosis very much? I asked Remus to try it with me. He’d never done it before, but he certainly did a fabulous job of it. He installed an orgasm command that really works well. Wow…Not only did it work, but I can feel brain waves shifting to a very deep trance state and I’ve got no control over it. The no control part and the deep trance part are the best parts for me…I love how submissive it makes me feel.
The orgasm part is pretty nice too though. *grins*
I am a very lucky woman too, in that, recently a couple folks in my kink community decided to organize educational workshops for learning bdsm techniques. The next one is on rope again. I was intensely excited about it all, especially since there’s some fabulous topics this time about setting mood and such….
Did I mention intensely excited?
And then I remembered Remus is busy that weekend.
I began to pout a little bit to myself…reminding myself that we had rope and some instructional manuals and we’d get to do those workshops again another time…No problem. I reminded myself that my funds were better allocated other ways during this time period too. No Problem.
Then he wrote today saying that he would see what he could work out.
He’s the man!!!
It may still not work out. He is having company after all…but I am really touched that he is considering his weekend plans to see if he can fit it in. Just the fact that he’s considering it makes me feel appreciated and affirmed. He makes me a priority in his life. Not the top one naturally…He’s got a family and a wife who are his top priority, but I’m am a priority and I appreciate that so much. It’s been a long while since anyone made me a priority in their life. That feels good and it caresses and soothes a kind of loneliness I’d not noticed of late until this moment. It hasn’t felt big or burdensome…nor even compelling. In fact, I’ve deliberately stepped back from seeking a relationship that could meet those needs because it was pushing me emotionally in ways that weren’t healthy for me. I consciously chose to focusing on loving myself and making myself a priority, instead of looking for anyone else to do it. That’s changed the dynamic inside me in all kinds of good ways. And this friendship came immediately after the decision. It was totally unexpected and really very affirming. I think I am more appreciative of the kindness and tenderness OBE provides in my life when we are together as a result.
I’m a lucky girl…