Desire is an interesting thing.

I feel desire for a good friend in my life. In fact, I think we might venture into sex soon. That’s the agreement anyway. I desire the experiences I have when he chooses to Top me. My body really enjoys our play together. The man has made a study of how to get me to orgasm in all kinds of ways… and my heart feels really relaxed with him. I don’t feel I have to be guarded and aloof because he won’t accept something about me.

I feel desire for several other someone’s too. One I feel the desire to dominate. I want to leave marks on him. I want to see him kneeling in front of me begging for something. Doesn’t matter what it is…I just want him to beg me.

I feel the desire to laugh and tumble around the bed with a marvelously funny and talented woman. She charms me and I want to have deep long talks about life, art and philosophy. I think I want to watch her orgasm.

I desire a man with a very different approach to life than I have. Where I am emotional, he is very clear he is not interested in sharing emotions. Where I am spiritual in a soft, heart-related way, he sees all of that as rainbow shit; though we each follow a very similar Buddhist philosophy in other ways and find that practice very important in our daily lives. Where I want a close friendship in which I can relax and be utterly myself, he seems mostly attracted to sex with me and is otherwise rather aloof…and yet, in other ways we appreciate things so similarly…I’d get detailed about all that…but I’m focusing on the fact that he’s set aside those things we might share in a lighter manner and taken them out of our interactions of late…Still somehow he makes me want to kneel. There’s a powerful desire in me for his dominance, despite all these things that I wish were different with him.

Desire is like a flower that blossoms uniquely in me depending on how I’m inspired.

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