Loneliness arises because I’m not showing myself love appropriately and generously. If I’m saying no to myself in order to say yes to someone else, then I’ve abandoned myself. If I ignore myself in some way, then I’ve abandoned myself. On the other hand, if I bathe myself in generosity and goodness by not only attending to my needs, but anticipating them and meeting them before the needs even arise, I don’t feel lonely.
Trust is something I place in myself, not others. Trust in others only works when its an extension of the trust I place in myself. That trust has to encompass all of me. I have to know that I’ll make good choices for myself, that I’ll take good care of myself and that I’ll be fabulously okay no matter what. I have to know that when I experience loss or hurt, disappointment or illness that I can respond naturally and appropriately and that I will not get stuck in a pattern of pain or grief, anger or frustration. I have to know that my happiness and peace is within my power, not anyone else’s. I have to know that its not possible to feel abandoned or shattered because I didn’t go anywhere. I’m still hear and though I may be hurt or disappointed, I won’t come apart and loose myself because some other person, place, thing or situation isn’t what I think it should be. Trusting is all about me. It is not about you…and it is about being fearless. I can trust others because I can trust me…I don’t need them to be perfect or to put up with my bs in order to prove I’m safe…any more than I have to make myself into someone else in order to be worthy of being loved. Instead I can just be with a person and let life unfold and see what happens…and do lots of loving of myself and others along the way.
I remember this when I’m well and I live it.
When I’m ill, I forget the whole damned thing…and that’s why it is so important to be well. *smiles*