Here’s what I’m reminded of. Once upon a time I deeply desired to make a family with my son, my step children and my former husband. This was the second once upon a time in my life. The first time I was basically a single parent inside a lonely marriage. In between these marriages, I was an exhausted single mother and I was working poor. Being a parent wasn’t the happy, happy, joy, joy I hoped and wanted it to be. In fact in my second marriage was so gut-wrenchingly painful that I decided I never wanted any part of such a situation again. Ever. Again.
I meant it.
And yet…The past few years have taken me away from family in nearly every way. It’s been very lonely and I’ve slowly softened my viewpoints and re-evaluated my feelings about family. I’ve had some renewed relationships and some healing over these past few years…
This dream was about healing the last horizon regarding old pain about family. I dreamt that I was playing with a little boy and his Daddy that I loved in my dream. We were snorkeling and playing in the seagrass with play ray guns. We cooked a meal together. We played with carefree delight and abandon. Its what I’ve always wanted to share and couldn’t even admit it to myself. I woke sobbing from this dream and the tears cleansed me. It isn’t really about what happened in the dream which is important…it is the opening of my heart which is the important part…the softening that comes of it. I’m grateful for the dream.