From a distance, I am watching a friend grieve. The grief is fresh still. Not an unrequited love…but certainly an unrequited life with the loved one. I understand grief intimately. I feel such compassion for him. I wish that I could sooth his pain. I have lost people I loved deeply too. I lost the future with them. I lost the potential and I ached for the hardships those losses caused. Those emotions have passed, but I remember. I know that nothing is going to fix his heart but time. Still…I wish that I could smooth a balm on his heart and make it magically all better.

I witnessed another friend’s deep sadness and hurt today. I felt helpless. I wanted to gather her up in my arms and smooth her hair while she cried it all out. I may still if she needs that. She’s a private independent person and needs her space with her grief. She lets me know what she wants or what she needs when she’s ready to share…but I wish I could help her more than simply listening. Her hurt is familiar to me.I remember my own sense of loss and betrayal…the loss of trust…

From a distance, I’ve been witnessing yet another friend’s ongoing loneliness. Those who have been close to me these past years know just how much I’ve suffered from that emotion. Many a night I cried myself to sleep. It went on for years. Its only recently changed…so again I understand intimately how she feels and I feel such compassion. I can offer my time and friendship. I know its not enough to fill that void inside her. I know it comforts. I wish it could be more…that I could be more.

I feel so sad about Japan; for the land; for the oceans surrounding Japan and for the springs that might be poisoned from this disaster. I think of years past when radiation poisoned Japan and ache for how haunting it must be right now there for a people who know intimately how devastating it can be. I wish I could fix this.

I guess that compassion is the topic of my heart today. Compassion is not always sexy…

But it is a huge part of what keeps a person real and juicy. I hope we can all know that in the cells of our being…

 

2 thoughts on “Knowing

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