“When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on–series polygamy–until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimensions to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter.”
~ Tom Robbins
I love this quote. It is the essence of my philosophy about relationships. It wasn’t always my philosophy. I don’t live it perfectly either. I am still experiencing moments when a wave of need and desire for the romantic ideals of love and togetherness washes over me intensely and I feel afraid that I’ll be alone or someone won’t pick me and then I’ll be alone and rejected, which of course is worse than being alone.
I was reading from a teacher’s book today. She suggested that a relationship was for the purpose of being self aware and self realized, it was not for the purpose of meeting needs. *smiles* A deep idea in today’s society isn’t it?
I certainly have nothing to add to this teaching at the moment. I am learning still about all this.
I feel a deep smile in me. I wish for myself that I continue this journey to contentment and freedom…I wish that for those I love too. Both those in my life now and those who have passed from my life for now. What a blessing these hearts are and have been. I feel a smile.